Sunday, October 14, 2007
@Sunday, October 14, 2007
Finished reading Mitch Albom's "For one more day" in just about 2.5 hours today. Not a bad book, though a little long-winded. The thing i dread about reading his kinda books is that he'll make me real emo for the rest of the day, thinking how fast my life is going by and probably ending soon and how stupid i was to have done and felt certain things. And there is this thing i pondered about all morning:
DEATH. It's a scary thing alright. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm personally very scared of it. After many incidents, like a very good example being Steve Irwin dead from a jab by a stingray. Or my uncle dying from cancer recently. It's like, POOF, you're gone. You'll never know when it happens. And then phone calls start ringing and when you answer it, it's someone notifying you that the person is dead. First you were shocked. Then reality starts to hit you and you cry. It's scary to see people pass on one by one just like that. And probably the reason i'm scared is 'cuz i don't know what is going to happen to me when i die. Does my life just ends like that? Do i cease to know of my exsistence? Or do i get reincarnated into some new person and a new life starts over? Maybe it's because i don't have a religion. I talked this over with Liyana and Tingzhi and Chunmeng in class b4. They're not scared of death (with exception of CM, she just shrugged). I guess it's 'cuz Tingzhi knows that when she dies, she'll meet God and all those truth stuff and all. And Liyana probably has her own beliefs too. Chunmeng and I, being free twinkles never know what to expect. Maybe i'll black out and forget everything. Like sleeping forever. Hmm. Maybe i'll sleep forever and enter into some dreamworld and exist in there because i can never wake up from my sleep. But i thought, what if those religion beliefs stuff were not real? (No offense to anybody here) What if you died, and to your disappointment, let's say, you don't see the light of God and stuff? Which is worse, fearing of what to expect before death, or the fear that what you expect may not be what you expected?... .... .... ...
Another thing that probably worries everyone: will i be missed if i die? I guess its some form of human instinct where you feel sorry for yourself in this situation. Face the reality. People move on. Even your loved ones will not waste their whole life away just MOANING for you. Even i don't want people to do that for me either. What about my friends and the people i know? Do i make such a great impact on their lives that i will missed by them? From what i've learnt so far, i guess friends move on too. They come and go, come and go. Only those true ones will keep in contact. Only when you part with your so called "best friend" then the real "true friend test" comes. Whether they bother to keep in contact with you, or choose to stray away and forget you altogether. It's sad for the latter, i know. But nobody blames anybody for this. It's like a natural cycle in life. But after realising this, i decided to cherish every single true friend i've got, because friends and family and the people around you is what keeps you going.
Ultimately, nobody knows what lies ahead.
